Update

I've been really sick over the past few days. Sore throat, coughing, sniffling, runny nose. Not fun. I can't speak at more than just below normal volume, because it hurts too much. I'm using constant Strepsil and drinking so much you wouldn't believe, but it still hurts. I may have to miss school tomorrow - whoops. Today - because this is not fun.

I got a part in the Junior Production! We're doing Peter Pan. I'm John! But horrid P made me audition with my voice like this, and yet I somehow still get a part! They understood my voice was dead, but they wanted to get the cast list out by that same day (yesterday).

S is Peter, which is good because he's definitely the best actor for the job. S and A got Lost Boys, and they're not too happy. S could've gotten Michael but she didn't, because with my voice like this, I was planning to audition tomorrow and E and P understood. But then they pulled me out of the last few minutes of class to audition quickly, and I forgot to ask for S, so it's partly my fault.

I got invited to K's birthday party! A boy? Le gasp! With a sleepover attached? Le gasp! We're watching a movie and playing DnD. His mother informed my mother that there will be strict parental guidance and separate rooms, so no hanky-panky.

Finger is fine... ish. There's a horizontal split in it and, if I push gently on part of the nail, I can see red underskin through the crack. I've covered it up for now. The nerve endings have died in the ball of my finger behind the nail. It's not that sore now.

I think that's all...

First day back at school

K was really quiet. I think he's had a few too many late nights. J has a new hat; he lost his old hat. I got an excellence on that essay. I am very proud of that! I'm doing the junior production this year. It's Peter Pan. I'm going for either John, Mr Darling, or Smee. Choices, choices... I should go down to the library sometime soon. I've run out of books to read. I need to get my life together. Apparently F and R and the other leads aren't as tired as I am. Maybe that's just my fault.

Last show

Well. That's that. I'm sad it's over, but I don't think we could've kept going for much longer. I wish dad let me stay for longer afterwards, though. I slept in until 12 am today. Sleep is a wonderful commodity.

Second and third shows

We did two shows practically in a row! Argh...

The matinee was the understudies performance. Unluckily, the lead parts didn't have understudies. Well, they did, but they all dropped out. There were only actually a few understudies in the end. It's like I told E. I came to make one costume. I ended up getting an understudy's part! Ridcully is quite a large part. I acted him in the matinee. It went fairly well, I think, but the whole time I was on stage, all the lights were pointed at me. I was trembling the entire time, and my lip still has small intents where I bit it to stop myself from laughing or crying. But I think I did pretty well! I projected, I didn't forget any of my lines, and I reacted how Ridcully would. Yay!

And in the second, guess what happened? I got my finger shut in one of the prop doors whilst we were moving set. I had been standing with my bit of wall, and the box that needed to move so I could move my wall wasn't moving. I thought that maybe they weren't strong enough to move it, or maybe there was no one there to move it. So I grabbed what I thought was the side of the door and I was about to start pulling, when I saw that there was a box in the way. So I tried to let go. But as I removed my hands from the box, I felt something close around my finger. I tried to pull away, but the door just kept crushing my finger more and more. I knew I couldn't scream properly. There was a show going on! But a really highpitched yelp must've slipped out. I finally managed to yank my finger out and ran as fast as I possibly could, already starting to cry. It hurt so much!! I had to get out, because the show must go on. Seeing me coming tearing through everyone like that, E and D and a few others came over and asked what happened. My finger was a bloody mess. That's a description, not my swearing. I ran it under cold water and wrapped it in paper towels. I was crying and E was depressed... And then I stopped. I stopped crying and got over myself partly. I put on my acting face and told E to stop crying because she'll smudge her makeup and she's supposed to be comforting me, not the other way around. So many people asked me if I was OK, I decided I needed a badge or something saying 'I'm OK'. Lovely, lovely Et (the Mr. Pump actor) sat with me for simply ages, just talking to me about life and Terry Pratchet. And when I started to think I was OK,  I became so. I came out for the bows at the very end. It still hurts, but only a little. The nail's probably going to fall off. Goody. 

S, who was watching the later show, thought that everyone was exhausted and therefore the show was worse than yesterday (which he had also seen). But in our defense, we had done a matinee only two hours previously, which he did not see.

First show

So. It happened and I am writing this straight after I've gotten home. I loved every second of it. The characters were amazing. I forgot my lunch but it was OK. I am performing Ridcully tomorrow for one show as well as moving backdrop for two shows. At interval we walked around outside in costume and just hung out for 15 minutes. So amazing! My name was even in the cast list! Afterwards I felt like I was walking on sunshine. Someone was planning to go home with no trousers on! Naming no names of course... *cough cough* F *cough cough*

And then? Then, I get picked up.

It's like my part doesn't even matter anymore. I am asked once by each member of my family how it went. Then they ignore me and start talking about the musicians.

Yes, I know they did amazingly too, but can it be about me for one minute? I am such a minor part, just being crowd and moving backdrops, but I am on more than the leads. I want to know that I did well. I want them to ask me to tell them everything. I want to be asked to talk for a change. I want to be congratulated. Just one night of fame for me. Please.

YAY!

Well, I had to fill in for M today because he was sick. I played as Ridcully, the wizard. It was great. I practically learnt my lines in two hours. I had to take my script onstage. I was shaking the whole time. But somehow, I kind of want him to be sick again... No. Bad thoughts, self. Bad!

Argh!

We perform. Tomorrow. Argh. We are NOT READY. Not everyone has costumes. The lines are not perfect. The set changes are sloppy and slow and no one's where they should be. Tomorrow I'm going to make a run sheet for prop people. Phew...

Back to school

So, back to school. I am not doing any classes this first week. I am helping with the production, and it is amazing. The acting is perfect, I adore the evil characters - Vetinari is perfectly written. He knows he is a tyrant and even says so a few times. But he is working for the good of the city. But Reacher's acting is incredible. He is the embodiment of evil. He is completely composed and self-assured. He knows he will be completely fine, right up to the last seconds of his life.

I will talk more about the others tomorrow. I have a whole week of this!

Grr

All my friends are mad or sulking or not talking and I'm not sure if they like me or I am their friend or if they even want me coming to the movies with them.

I got Go game records (kifu) from someone at the club. I lost twice and I am despondent.

:'(

I read a book about a deaf teen, and it really hit home. I'm not deaf, but I did what I always do when I read something sad - I start imagining myself being deaf. Then blind. Then I imagined myself going through everyday situations. Then I started crying. Geez, I'm dumb. I want to go home.

Meh

I'm exhausted so this will be extra short.

Go club was meh. I played two games, and won the one I should've lost and lost the one I should've won. There was an annoying person there tonight.

Writing progress is slow now. Don't know why.